Shafter, CA – Steven McJohnston announced that the new bumper sticker on his lifted ’08 Ford F-250, is “totally effective”. Mr. McJohnston spoke before a loose collection of like minded individuals confirming that he has successfully lifted his prospects for finding a suitable girlfriend by a simple last minute purchase from the Pep Boys in near by Bakersfield. McJohnston stated “so, there I was picking up some more McGuiars to polish up my baby. When I saw this ‘No Fat Chicks!’ bumper sticker.” Those in attendance gave audible sounds of approval as he pointed out the sticker newly affixed on the late model Ford pickup. “I put is just below the FOX and No Fear stickers so even the short ones could read it.” Mr. McJohnston said to an audience of cat call and an “Awe Yeah!” from his best bro Brett. When asked of the effectiveness of the new emblem on his truck McJohnston simply looked around and pressed his lips in a knowing smile and said “You see any around here?”
Further study divulges a near complete drop in the number of fat chicks in the 100 yard radius around the truck. Although more conclusive examination is needed to note the effects when said truck is near an Arby’s or off-brand doughnut shop. Preliminary and anecdotal reports are labeling this effect the McJohnson Push.
Some skeptics and “haters” are attributing the effect more to the fact that he broke up with is long time girlfriend Shelly for being too fat. “She was pushing 2.5 bills!” says Scott (no last name given) while pulling on the gold chain on his neck and adjusting his flat billed cap. “I mean, seriously that’s pretty cold and he ain’t got any other girls around him now.” Suggesting the effect may push away all available females of breeding age within the radius of study.
McJohnson claims that is not the case but produced no evidence to the contrary.