Abbott Park, IL – If you are over sixty, lacking basic nutrition, and low on energy, Abbott Laboratories has great news. The makers of Ensure, New Ensure, and Ensure Classic are proud to release Ensure HD and Ensure Extreme. Loaded with extra calories, a near lethal dose of caffeine, and essential nutrients, the energy bursting flavor of these new drinks will help you keep your active senior lifestyle going strong.
If you have a long day of shuffleboard in the commons or keep regressing to memories of when you were a twenty year old debutante, Ensure HD keeps your metabolism burning well into the early bird special at the Denny’s. If you feel more active and plan water aerobics at the YMCA, then Ensure Extreme will give you the extra burst of strength when you are tits (knees) deep in community pool. Ensure HD and Ensure Extreme are for the busy sexagenarian who aren’t satisfied living their sunset years watching the Wheel of Fortune with the Pat Sajak on the tube.
Also, coming this fall enjoy Ensure Dark. Ensure Dark keeps your geriatric nightlife burning by adding a touch of Viagra to each bottle. Ensure Dark will redefine Tuesday Night Bingo into a wrinkled and sagging flesh orgy of dusty passion. All Ensure products are available in your local supermarket or convalescent hospital.
Ed. Note – This may be an ad but we are not sure.