Successful Actor Hopes to Make Enough Tips to Become a Full Time Waiter

Steven Stevenson hopes to finally quit Hollywood.

Pasadena, CA – Steven Stevenson is a marginally successful actor and stand-up comedian. He has appeared in several dozen commercials and even won some credited roles in ABC’s popular sitcom Ham-fisted Laugh Track and CBS’s now defunct drama Old People: Dying. But his work as an actor is only a paycheck while he works on his true career, waiting tables. Stevenson spoke briefly to MDT in an abandoned pig farm near Shafter, CA. In the interview he stated, “I’ve been living a sort of double life. My day job is acting and it pays the bills but, my dream is to take my career as a waiter to the next level.” As an actor, he could no longer buy in to all the glamour that Hollywood offered. And, in an existential crisis, Stevenson questioned his career choice.

When he first started acting, Stevenson knew that it wouldn’t be permanent. He stated, “Acting paid the bills but, it wasn’t my dream. Early on, I knew that slaving away in front of a live studio audience was not my calling.” As his career advanced, he pushed off his dreams of food service. He continued, “I woke up one morning and I just knew I couldn’t do it for the rest of my life. I wanted to live the dream.” He spent the next two weeks filling out applications and interviewing at local restaurants and pubs. He received a few call backs but nothing panned out. “Then it happened,” Stevenson stated excitedly, “I was finishing a 6 hour sex scene shoot with Kate Bosworth on the set of Old People, when my cell rang. I knew, I wasn’t supposed to have it on set but, I took a chance. It paid off.”

An assistant manager from an Applebee’s in Burbank was on the line. He offered Stevenson a greeter/host position starting at minimum wage but with a free meal when on the clock. “I was so excited, I screamed. I was jumping up and down. I was on cloud nine. A naked Kate Bosworth gave me a hug and congratulated me, but I noticed a bit of jealousy in her eyes. I whispered softly in her ear, ‘today me, tomorrow you.’ But, I didn’t let my success go to my head. I was starting my new career at the bottom.”

Stevenson has since been promoted to waiter at the Burbank Applebee’s and hopes to one day make enough tips to quit acting all together. He has put in for a transfer to the Applebee’s by the 405 where the customer volume is greater and he can make better money. He can still be seen in a recurring role as Friend Number 2 on the Fox action drama Fist Full of Bullet Holes: Explosion.

Kate Bosworth Maximalst Feels Hollywood Should Put Actress In More Movies

Hollywood, CA–Never one to back away from a fight, Brion Yerrington is soliciting for change. He is single-handedly challenging major movie studios practices regarding stereotypes and casting. Some have called him a one man army, others a hero of the defenseless. Most definitely, he is a huge fan of Kate Bosworth. But, no matter what your opinion, his determination is not something to be ignored, unless of course you are a highly paid studio executive or even slightly rational.

Actress Kate Bosworth disavows any association with the Bosworth Maximalist Society.

Yerrington is the head of the national Bosworth Maximalist Society or BMS and his views have struck a chord with the nation. In an exclusive interview with MDT, Yerrington declared his three point platform for Hollywood reform. Yerrington stated “the most excellent Miss Bosworth is so much more than a pretty face. She is also hot and playful and sexy and not a terrible actress.” He immediately opened up his wallet and showed the various publicity and magazine shots that he has collected over the years.
“Ever since her first appearance as student in background #14 on 7th Heaven in 1996, she has captured the imagination of Americans, nay, the world. This is why I am proposing to the Hollywood glitterati my 3 demands for the betterment of the world.” Yerrington was a little bit winded from that diatribe and took a moment to compose himself. He continued, “One, we need more Kate Bosworth in movies. The world can’t get enough of her. Two, entertainment television shows need to feature her in at least two episodes per week. And three, we need a Kate Bosworth Christmas Album. Um, I’m not sure about that one.” Yerrington has been head of the BMS since he took over the reins from Sasha McFlavian. McFlavian was arrested outside Bosworth’s West Los Angeles home with a video camera and other personal items. Yerrington said, “Sasha was a true Bosworth fan. He loved her as we all do but he took that love to a dark place. I don’t like to talk about that.” McFlavian is serving 18 months in Chino for aggravated assault on an officer and stalking.
Support for Yerrington has been growing as more men between the ages of 18-32 have been signing up for the group. Yerrington is also writing a book. “It is not near complete but the title is, Getting More Bosworth in Your Life and Making the Most of the Bosworth You Have.” Yerrington’s book lays out his unsolicited plans to promote and support Kate Bosworth. It also describes where to find out more information about her, where she lives, what her favorites foods are, and includes a sample of her hair. The book is dedicated to Bosworth, Sasha McFlavian, and Angela Yerrington (Brion’s mother).