Google Releases Girth, A Fully Explorable 3D Model of Sergey Brin’s Penis

Google Girth Logo

Google Girth Logo

Subterranean Bunker, 2000 miles off the coast of North Korea – Google quietly released its latest web based technological advancement on Monday. It features a full 3D model of Google co-founder, Sergey Brin’s phallus. With Google Girth users can explore a 500 Tera-pixel representation of the computer scientist turned hydroponic meat farmer’s most private member. Comprised of 7000 intimate images of his penis, the new web application stitches these images together and overlays those on a 3D mesh created from a laser scan of the Russian born Brin’s foreskin and satchel. Beta testers were granted access to the web page earlier this month to rave reviews. A tester by the username mcgodalds stated, “I’ve always wonder what Sergey was packing, now I know. Thanks to the scale model and near infinite resolution, I can literally count the pubic hairs on his scrota. My favorite feature is the ability to bookmark your favorite locations and share them with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and that other one, Google Plus I think.”

While initial excitement for the product has been building, some analysts have panned the website raising concerns over privacy. Lydia Salivastion, a stay at home mother of seven and part time startup investor expressed worries about the social aspects of the website. “I’m concerned with who sees what we look at on his member. I don’t see any privacy guarantees when I want to look at Mr. Brin’s delicious elbow skin. For example, if I want to Google Girth ‘Sergey’s perineum’ what advertisers see that query? Also, does the government have access to my Girth searches? I want privacy for my private, private viewing.”

No matter what the reaction, Google Girth’s popularity has grown exponentially since it went online. New users are required to sign up for a Google account at the site google.com/girth.